The Mommy Diaries

Tomorrow morning my kid is going to run laps in the school parking lot. Because of that, I won’t be buying rolls of wrapping paper and curling ribbon this year.

Our elementary school decided to forego the selling fundraiser and instead went for the pledge variety benefit. So our students didn’t have to go door-to-door pushing giftwrap and candy tins. Now, they had to ask people to pledge per lap.

I’m torn on whether I think it’s a good idea. I’m glad the kids will actually be doing something physical and fun, so that part is great. But, like selling gift wrap, I won’t let my son call family and friends asking to buy or pledge. Nearly everyone we know has kids of their own. I’m certainly not going to ask them to spend money to support our school instead of their own. So every year I just figure out how much we want to donate to the school and we load up on paper and bows.

This year was different. The kids were encouraged to get ten different pledges. So much for just writing down a dollar amount and we’re done with it. Instead, chagrined, we coerced our childless neighbors to pledge a small amount. Then we wrote down both our names but obviously we’re way under the ideal goal.

The school still benefits but what will we do come Christmastime when it’s time to start wrapping presents?

What about you? Does your school sell things or hold fund drives or walks/runs or other pledge-type events? Which do you prefer or would you rather just write a check and be done with it? 

I’m so flattered. I really think John McCain had people like me in mind when he came up with his out-of-left-field choice for running mate. Personally, I haven’t a clue which way I’m going to vote in November. Normally, I tend to lean Republican thanks to nearly a decade of working in conservative talk radio. But I’ve become more and more liberal to the point that I’d actually be willing to vote Democrat – especially if the candidates said what I wanted to hear about education, the economy and getting out of the war.

But I’ve been biding my time. I was undecided and John McCain thought he could sway me with Sarah Palin. He thought maybe I – a working mom – could relate to his working mom. Maybe because I’m Catholic, I’d be all over her pro-life views. Maybe I’d like that she has five kids and still managed to run a whole state after getting her feet wet running the PTA. Maybe I – who was not totally feeling the Hillary love but liked the idea of a woman in the White House – might like the idea of this particular woman in the White House.

But it’s too early for me to be feeling any kind of love for anyone yet. In fact, I’m personally kind of miffed that McCain didn’t think I wouldn’t see through his transparent attempt to grab my vote. My friend, Pam, however, seems a bit smitten.

Pam is a big-time Democrat and a big-time Hillary Clinton supporter. Not only did she watch every second and read every word of Hillary’s campaign coverage, I’m pretty sure she made monetary donations and offered to make hand-stenciled signs. She adamantly refuses to jump on the Obama bandwagon and so far she likes what she sees with the Alaska governor. She likes that she’s feisty and has read everything she can find about her accomplishments and beliefs. John McCain would be happy with Pam.

What about you? Were you swayed by McCain’s new veep choice? Do you vote for someone just because they look like you (working mom? PTA president? Gun-toting, former beauty queen?) or is still all about the issues? Do you miss Hillary? Pam still does.

It's nearly always sad when someone dies, but I thought it was especially depressing this week when I read that Dave Freeman, the co-author of "100 Things To Do Before You Die," actually died this week at only 47. He passed away after hitting his head in a fall at his California home.

According to his relatives, Freeman had visited only about half the places in his book before he died. "This life is a short journey," he wrote. "How can you make sure you fill it with the most fun and that you visit all the coolest places on earth before you pack those bags for the very last time?"

Some of his suggestions were obvious: run with the bulls in Spain, be part of New Year's Even in Times Square, bundle up for the Iditarod sled race. Others -- the World Cow Chip Throwing Championship in Beaver, Oklahoma, and taking a voodoo pilgrimage in Haiti -- are a bit more out-there. But imagine the feeling of accomplishment once you've checked them off your to-do list.

I'm guessing Dave Freeman thought he had plenty of time to get to the other half of his Top 100.

I only saw part of "The Bucket List." (My dentist plays DVDs and, as usual, I came in during the middle one-third during my last cleaning.) I'm betting everybody died but crossed everything off their lists before they went. I'm a list-maker by nature, but this is one that makes me leery. There'd be too much pressure once you hit 80ish or every time you think you're coming down with a serious illness.

At least I've been to Times Square (albeit not on New Year's Eve), I've seen the Mona Lisa and the Sistine Chapel, and watched the wild pony round-up on Chincoteague. (Look it up.) Now what?

What about you? What do you want to do before you die? And do you have a bucket list?

This weekend I went to my first bar mitzvah. One of my very best friends invited us to share with her family as her son celebrated his big day. Growing up on the west side of Cincinnati where people identify themselves by parish, I led an unfortunately rather sheltered religious life. I know nuns and church festivals, fish fries and rosaries, but this was my inaugural bar mitzvah.

It was so meaningful and gorgeous, filled with tradition and ceremony. And they did their best to make us outsiders feel at home, offering translations of the Hebrew readings and telling us when to sit and stand. (I never want to hear any more complaints about Catholics going up and down, up and down during services!)

I had figured it would be along the lines of a First Communion or Confirmation, but it was much more personal. My friend, Vicki, stood up during the service and spoke about her son. It was the most touching heartfelt speech I’ve ever heard as she told her 13-year-old how proud his parents were of all he’d accomplished so far and, basically, what a great kid he was. Her husband later mirrored those thoughts with some moving words of his own at the gala party that evening.

It made me jealous that I’m not Jewish. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ready to convert. (Go Jesus!) But my husband and I realized that there will never be a time that we’ll stand up in front of all our family and friends and publicly tell Luke how proud we are of him and how much we love him. Sure, there will be the wedding toast some day, but that will be also about the girl (who no doubt won’t be good enough for my son!)

I was flattered to be included in my friend’s important night. I’m so happy for her that her kid turned out so great. And I want my son to know he rocks too.

Georgia state school superintendent Kathy Cox is going on a game show. Specifically, she's going to try to prove to the world (or at least the part of the world that watches Jeff Foxworthy) that she's smarter than a fifth-grader. Goody for her. I hope she wins and I hope she gets really nice parting gifts if she doesn't.

Apparently, some people aren't very happy that Cox is choosing to test her mettle on national television. I guess they think she should be doing more important things like fixing Georgia schools instead of showing off her academic prowess. Tim Callahan, spokesman for the Professional Association of Georgia Educators told the AJC: "It gives new definition to the word frivolous." (By the way, I checked with my resident fifth-grader and he has a pretty good idea of what "frivolous" means.)

Supposedly, no taxpayer dollars were used for her appearance on the show which was taped earlier this month and airs September 5. Personally, the whole thing doesn't bother me. Unless, of course, she stinks. Imagine if the Georgia state school superintendent isn't smarter than the average 10-year-old. That'll say more about us than rotten SAT scores or crappy graduation rates.

I hope she studied.

My son starts guitar lessons this week. This is on top of piano lessons which he's taken for four years. And sax lessons which he takes during school hours (but is expected to practice after school.) My husband just signed him up for basketball today, which won't start until October. Still, come fall, that means three evenings each week he'll have commitments. That doesn't include religion class which we now homeschool one night a week just to save us one trip to church and one extra out-of-house appointment each week.

Friday, Luke came home with an after-school science program flyer that sounded really cool -- LEGOs and robots and all the stuff he loves. But we had to say no. As it is, we're concerned that he's overbooked and he's only ten. These, by the way, are all things he wanted to do on his own, nothing we were cramming down his throat. But how does he do all that and his homework and his practicing (for THREE instruments) and still have time to read and play and just hang out and do nothing?

What did we do when we were kids? I know we certainly didn't get carted around to lessons and practices every day. We did our homework and then read books and played and maybe watched some TV. But these days, the expectations are higher all around. Kids are expected to do more and know more and want more by the time they get to middle school, then high school, then college. Can you imagine a high school senior filling out a college application and under "interests and activities" writing something about, "well, I like to watch TV and just hang out with my friends"? I'm thinking that won't cut it.

Luke told me they had elections in his fifth-grade class on Friday for members of the student forum. He said he chose not to run because as far as he could tell, their main job was to run errands during recess. That, he pointed out to me, was the one free period of his entire day. "I'm not sure I want to give that up, Mom," he said. And I don't blame him.

Also, he said, the forum members have to wear Santa hats and ring bells before school when the classes are collecting money for charity around the holidays. It wasn't the mortification of the Santa gear that turned off my son. Instead, it was the logistics. "The morning are when I go around to all the classes and write down my assignments in my agenda. How could I possibly get everything done?"

How indeed?

Last night we had orientation at my son’s elementary school. It’s official: the birthday cupcake is no more.

Oh, the signs were there. First, they started encouraging cookie cakes because they weren’t so messy. Then they wanted the treats to come at lunchtime in the cafeteria so they wouldn’t disrupt the classroom. But this year, finally, there’s an all-out ban. No sweets or goody bags of any kind to celebrate the day your child came kicking and screaming into this world.

Wait, that’s not entirely true. During his or her birthday month, your child can go with other celebrants en masse to the media center to get a celebratory pencil. Somehow that’s just not the same as a gooey confection with sprinkles that makes you hero for the day among your sugar-hungry classmates.

I’m sure the arguments have everything to do with food allergies and nothing to do with downright meanness, but it makes me sad. Who doesn’t remember Mom lugging the Tupperware container full of cupcakes to school at birthday time? I had a summer birthday but I still remember getting to celebrate some time or other.

Ah, the times they are a changing. Here’s your No. 2 pencil. Have a blast.